Recently, I have found myself delving into the Rules of the Internet. I now follow them as my life's code, and I even printed out a handbook.
I found em from a guy here on NG. His name was Walrus-related.
If you want them, here they are:
(tell me which ones are most important to you :D)
-x+2^3. Do not look at rule 666-B. EVER.
i. You can't the square root of a negative integer.
-8. combo breaker i am the combo breaker. the combo breaker is the law and the law is the law so who say you? combo breaker or combo breaker? combo breaker combo! breaker! combo breaker! so its now or never!
-7. /b/ is not your friend. No exceptions.
-6. LOL NEGATIVE
-5. No MOAR negative rules.
-4. Rule 210. must be followed or you are breaking rule 100. No exceptions.
-3. Every rule above 100 must be followed. No exceptions.
-2. Never argue with the Ninja Unicorn- refer to rule 14.
-1. Rule 0 does not exist.
0. Negative Numbers are a Lie. No exceptions.
1. Do not talk about /b/
2. Do NOT talk about /b/
2.1337. You can't edit rule 2, newfags.
2.13337. By editing rule 2 you will never have sex in your life. EVER. No exceptions.
3. We are Anonymous.
3.14159265358979323846... . Expect us.
4. Anonymous is legion.
5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.
6. Anonymous can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver.
8. There are no real rules about posting.
9. There are no real rules about moderation either - enjoy your ban.
10. If you enjoy any rival sites - DON'T.
11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored.
12. Anything you say can and will be used against you.
13. Anything you say can be turned into something else. - fixed
14. Do not argue with trolls - it means that they win.
15. The harder you try, the harder you will fail.
16. If you fail in epic proportions, it may just become a winning failure.
17. Every win fails eventually.
18. Everything that can be labeled, can be hated.
19. The more you hate it, the stronger it gets.
20. Nothing is to be taken seriously.
21. Original content is original only for a few seconds before getting old.
22. Copypasta is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
23. Copypasta is made to ruin every last bit of originality.
24. Every repost is always a repost of a repost.
25. Relation to the original topic decreases with every single post.
26. Any topic can be turned into something totally unrelated.
27. Always question a person's sexual preferences without any real reason.
28. Always question a person's gender - just in case it's really a man.
29. On the internet, all girls are men, and all kids are undercover FBI agents.
30. There are NO girls on the internet.
31. TITS or GTFO - the choice is yours.
32. You must have pictures to prove your statements.
33. Lurk moar - it's never enough.
34. There is porn of it, no exceptions.
35. If no porn is found of it, it will be made.
36. There will always be more fucked up shit than what you just saw.
37. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so).
38. No real limits of any kind apply here - not even the sky
39. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
40. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER.
41. Desu isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than Chuck Norris jokes.
42. Nothing is Sacred.
43. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
%u56DB%u5341%u56DB%u3002 Even one positive comment about Japanese things can make you a weeaboo. (as a note to those who are hating on the jap chars it is 44 in Japanese and is ment to be a joke... get the fuck over it)
45. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car
46. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions.
47. The pool is always closed due to AIDS (and stingrays, which also have AIDS).
48. A cat is fine too.
49. One cat leads to another.
50. Another cat leads to Zippo Cat.
51. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.
52. It is delicious cake. You must eat it.
53. It is delicious trap. You must hit it.
54. /b/ sucks today.
55. If you have time to make up new rules, you have no life.
56. They will not bring back Snacks.
57. You will never have sex.
58. It needs more Desu. No exceptions.
59. Fuck Gaston.
60. It needs more pumpkin. No exceptions.
61. Chuck Norris is the exception to Rule #63, no exceptions or else.
62. It has been cracked and pirated. No exceptions.
63. There is always porn of a female version of a male character (and vice versa). No Exceptions.
64. Don't copy that floppy
65. Anonymous is not your personal army.
66. The cake is a lie.
67. Anonymous does not "buy", he downloads.
68. Milhouse will never be a meme. Ever. No matter what your post ends with. No exceptions. Ever. No.
69. LOL SIXTY NINE AMIRITE?
70. Do not talk about the 100M GET failure.
71. The internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
72. Darth Vader is your father. No exceptions.
73. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.
74. If you post it, they will cum.
75. Rule 75 is a lie. OH SHI-
76. Twinkies are the answers to life's problems.
77. The internet makes you stupid.
78. It will always need moar sauce.
79. Ceilingcat IS watching you masturbate
80. Interwebz177 did it. No exceptions.
81. Anonymous is a virgin by default.
82. Nobody tells the truth on the Internet
83. Only clusterfucks start edit wars.
84. All rules ARE true, including this one.
85. Retarded rules are forbidden.
86. The term "sage" does not refer to the spice.
87. If you get pepperoni ever again, I swear I'll blow this joint sky-high!
88. Anonymous rules the internet. No exceptions.
89. Bruce Lee was an hero to us all.
90. It's never lupus.
91. There is gay porn of it, no exceptions.
92. Chuck Norris is the exception to rule 91. No exceptions.
93. Go Fuck Yourself. Anyone who tries to edit rule 93 can read rule 93 while rule 93'ing. No Exceptions
94. Fagicorn rule 93'd while reading rule 93 to a gay bar and everyone in there was rule 93'ing and they all came in fagicorns face. we told you, No Exceptions.
95. Anonymous did NOT, under any circumstances, tk him 2da bar|?
96. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.
97. The government, The CIA, Everything is a lie.
98. Only Zippocat is truth.
99. All numbers are at least 100 but always OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND.
100. Faggotry will not be tolerated.
101. You are never THE BEST suck at anyeverything, deal with it.
102. You are made of fail and AIDS.
103. That's no such thing as safe sex
104. The internet is for porn.
105. Rule 71 is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
106. Rule 109 is true.
107. "That's what she said" jokes are stupid No Exceptions
108. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!
109. Rule 106 is false.
110. If your statement is preceded by "HAY GUYZ", then you're doing something wrong.
111. If you cannot understand it, it is machine code.
112. What you click isn't always what you get.
113. Gamestop does NOT have Battletoads (or N64 games). But ask anyway.
114. Secure tripcodes are for fags.
115. If someone herd u liek Mudkipz, deny it constantly for the lulz.
116. Combo breakers are inevitable. If the combo is completed successfully, it is gay.
117. Always go out of your way to make newbies feel uncomfortable.
118. Newfags must be tortured to death. No exceptions.
119. Only newfags like caturday, Bruce Lee, and Desu. Those who like any of those refer to rule 93.
120. Nobody likes you.
121. Co$ is the sworn enemy of Anonymous. It must be stopped.
122. There is NO God here (Except Chuck Norris).
124. When Anonymous is surprised, bricks must be shat.
125. If you have no bricks to shit, you are made of fail and AIDS.
126. shaMTV must give Rick his award. No exceptions.
127. No NewFaggots aloud.
128. Everything you know is a lie, but all those lies are nothing. So by using the transitive property we can conclude that everything = nothing and if you add an integer (x) into the equation we can single anything out and turn it into a certain amount of nothing explained by this graph e = everything n = nothing
| ___/ \
As you can see, at a certain point of everything, nothing cannot exist. So in conclusion, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
129. BOTS will be dismantled.
130. Internet = Very Scary
131. Whatever it is, pie is involved in some form. No exceptions.
132. If it can't be killed, it doesn't exist. (Except Chuck Norris) No other exceptions.
133. If you met your girlfriend/boyfriend online then you are dating a one armed lady hooker named Steve.(Unless there is webcam involved, then his name is John.)
134. If it talks, you must shut it up.
135. Myspace is for thirteen year old girls and people who fit the description of Rule # 133.
136. _uck _ou_self solve it.
137. Tuck yourself in. Is the answer.
138. Rule 139 does/will not exist.
139. Rule 138 is true.
140. XKCD can explain everything. explain it or it goes.
141. Godmodding is retarded. Seriously just accept your death.
142. Just ignore him he will think you're afk.
143. If you ignore her, she will bitch.
144. People can't understand sarcasm.
145. If you take it seriously gtfo.
146. Stop giving the mic a blowjob.
147. Regardless, if you get pissed on teamspeak there is someone that has muted themselves just so they can laugh at you.
148. You don't get any cookies. No exceptions. So don't even ask.
149. Brandon is God's son, making him Jesus. Chuck Norris has no son.
150. You are not going to get a handicap so don't even ask. They will just target you.
151. You will not get a free Xbox 360/Playstation 3/iPhone so don't even get your hopes up.
152. They didn't call you retarded but they were thinking it.
153. It's funny to pick on people's grammar no matter how good it is. No exceptions.
154. The louder you scream at people the harder someone else will laugh.
155. They don't have hacks, you just suck really bad.
156. If you want to know who anonymous is then GTFO!
157. Someone already did it better. No exceptions.
158. It was in an episode of South Park. No exceptions.
159. The more you deny something the more they are going to say that you are "something".
160. Google ftw. No exceptions.
161. The guy next to you in the library is always looking at what you are saying.
162. The girl next to you in the library couldn't give a shit.
163. There's a reason- you know what? Fuck it. If you can't figure it out, you seriously need to LURK MOAR.
164. Refer to step 2 on Rule #165.
165. Refer to step 3 on Rule #93.
166. People who get depressed on the internet need a better use of time.
167. Fleshlights are the answers to life's problems. No exceptions.
168. If you pretend that you are drunk people will just think you're retarded because no one can act drunk on the internet.
169? Nah I'll have 2 69s.
170. None of us is as cruel as all of us.
171. At any given moment, more birds could join, leave, or peel off in another direction entirely.
172. Use inside jokes moar. It upsets users.
173. STFU! Before i go chris brown on you!
174. Only 4chan'rs unsuspecting victims hate Rick Astley.
175. The talk page is for spam. Don't go there.
176. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks children with the last name of Edgerton.
177. Tropicana tastes like the rainbow. No exceptions
178. Shadow sticks are fun to play with in the dark. Unless there are more than 3.
179. Refer to all unwritten rules. No exceptions.
180. For every life the internet improves it destroys 10 others.
181. Anything that's good is a virus.
182. We better start helping the earth, otherwise Al Gore will take back the internets!!! NO MORE BROADBAND! NO DIALUP!
183. If i have 3 cakes and you have one cake, only here you have no cake and I have 3 ps3's
183-B The cake is a lie.
184. The only potty training videos allowed are ones that feature tigers and are japanese in nature (english subtitles are acceptable)
185. The Internet and Golf are quite similar they both were invented for men to get away from woman, except the internet has porn.
186. Newfags must be shot in the balls on site. No exceptions
187.No matter how hard you try, you will never be as cool as ninjas playing guitars to a Van Halen song.
188. If none of these rules are followed/obliged to then Bruce Lee will donkey punch you to Uranus.
189. Bukkake is not cool. Never was. Never will be. EVER!!
190. The only good hentai is yuri, thats how the internet works.
191. You will always forget to add an attachment to your e-mails.
192. If you break rule 1 and 2. You will be rickroll'd in hell.
193. If you break rule 188. You will be spanked by Barack Obama.
194. If you break rule 2, Barack Obama will tickle your pubes.
194-B. Rule 194 is true.
195. People called Fred are just Fail. No Exceptions.
196. People named Tyler are just win. No Exceptions.
197. People named Matty are just sexy. No and I mean no Exceptions.
198. If it's not on Google, It does not exist. No Exceptions.
199. If it's not on Google, then you're searching with the wrong criteria, no exceptions
200. Pictures or it didn't happen.
201. Maths in failing: Win + Fail = Epicfail Fail + Fail = Win Win + Win = Fail Epicfail + Epicfail = Chuck Norris No exceptions
202. Anontalk is a bunch of fags. No exceptions.
203. If you run out of cookies, give apples, If you run out of apples, Give Spam. No exceptions.
204. NEVER shoot anybody in the balls. No exceptions.
205. All Americans are fat. No exceptions.
206. Any breaking of pi will result in pi being broken. No one knows the consequences. You have been warned.
207. Rules 1 and 2 are false. From now on, all rules must be about /b/. Unless they aren't.
208. Rules 1, 2 and 206 are true.
209. See rule 208.
210. See rule 209.
211. srt8 must not marry MITB. No exceptions.
212. 4chan is funny. No exceptions.
213. Your mother is behind you. No exceptions, unless she isn't.
214. In case of an emergency, your emergency exit can be found in the top right corner of your screen. No, and i promise you, NO exceptions.
214-B. except on a Mac
214-C. Alt. F4
215. Rule 213 is false. Do not click that button.
216. 3, is the magic number.... 3, is the magic number.... NO EXCEPTIONS!
217. Creator of 4chan is mentally Disturbed. No exceptions.
218. Porn must only be looked at when porn is needed.
219. Google is not a calculator
220. Longcat is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG
221. RETARDED NEWFAGS,should always be shot without warning NO EXCEPTIONS!
222. The game ended, wait a while before we start the next wave.
223. Only faggots add rules that don't go along with rule 93 no exceptions.
224. All rules above "PROFIT!" don't count. No Exceptions.
225. The Simpsons already did it. South Park already did it better. NO EXCEPTIONS
226. If a statement may be taken sexually in any way, then she already said it. No exceptions.
227. Creed is the worst band in the world. No exceptions
228. None of these rules apply to this wiki. No exceptions.
228-B. except the ones about newfags editing the rules
229. You never see the porn first, even if you made or drew it. No exceptions.
230. Hentai is you friend. No exceptions.
231. The number of friends you have on facebook does not indicate the number of friends you have in real life. No exceptions.
232. You cannot control the person in charge. No exceptions.
233. The person in charge only wants to make your life miserable. No exceptions.
234. Rule 186 is the only exception to rule 204
236. There is no more than 1 rule for 1 number. 234 is the only exception, all others can refer to rule 93.
237. P30P13 WH0 U53 1337 5P34K 4R3 N07 1337.
238. Every night when you are sleeping, Interwebz177 gives u pills that give you a boner then he sucks you dry.
239. That naked picture you took whilst drunk has never been removed from the internet, and will remain on a 50yr old man's hard drive for as long as he lives.
240. Rule 301 is false, it is occasionally Alex.
241. Everything fun on the internet is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
242. What has been seen cannot be unseen.
250. Additional Pylons are required. Always
269. Yeah, finally...2 69's!
299. This is blasphemy, this is madness. No exceptions
300. 299 is a lie. This is sparta. No exceptions.
301. This is the end of the world, no exceptions.
302. 301 is a lie. The end is the beginning. No exceptions.
304.| IMMA FIREN MAH? LAZAH, BLARRRRRRGGGHH!
306. The lazah destroyed rule 305.
307. Newfags will rape you so hard that Micheal Jackson will feal it in hell. No exceptions.
308. the rules on 313 were watching the lazah as well, and have wandered off blinded refer to rule 313 for more details.
313. Rule 309,310,311, and 312 tried to defeat the lazah, but got dazed with radiation and now can only see Ninja Unicorns, no exceptions
314. The day that pi finally ends is the day that the world will end. No exceptions.
369. Two's company, three's a crowd.
370. Perl will NEVER be the best language, no exceptions
371. Every time you throw an IntrospectionException an emo becomes an hero
372. Attempting to post anything on the internet which defines the rules of the internet will result in an UserIsAnNoobException
373. Exception in thread "/b/" internet.lang.Error: InvalidArgumentException:
374. If you break rules one or two, you must compile and rule 2.1333371 and throw no exceptions.
375. Some rules just dont make sense... follow them anyways. No Exceptions
400. Gilmans law-any discussion on any site or chat room if given enough time with out invoking Godwin's law will eventually devolve into quoting Monty python
404. This rule was not found.
405. If you're wondering where the other rules went, check rule 404
619. BOOYAKA BOOYAKA 619 HEY BOOYAKA BOOYAKA REY MYSTERIO.
690. Wow is spelt with one capital when not referring to the game. No exceptions.
666. Humanity is evil. No exceptions.
666-B. You've lost THE GAME. No exceptions.
777. Today's your lucky day.
867-5309. Jenny is not home, she will never be home. No Exceptions.
999. %u02D9suo%u0131%u0287d%u01DD%u0254x%u0 1DD ou %u02D9%u05DF%u0131%u0250%u025F no%u028E 's%u0131%u0265%u0287 pu%u0250%u0287s%u0279%u01DDpun %u0287,uop %u05DF%u05DF%u0131%u0287s no%u028E %u0287%u01DD%u028E p%u0250%u01DD%u0265 %u0279no%u028E d%u0131%u05DF%u025F o%u0287 %u01DD%u026F%u0131%u0287 %u01DD%u0265%u0287 %u029Eoo%u0287 no%u028E %u025F%u0131
1001. Amount of uses for duct tape for now. more are being discovered.
1337. The last thing this should be is a rule. You failed by looking at this, newfag.
1337(b). Rule 1337 fails and the editor is a newfag, no exceptions
2012. Science doesn't exist, God doesn't exist,Only Chuck Norris exists
2013. Rule 2012 is a lie. So are the Mayans.
2014. Science just proved that the Mayans couldn't find a bigger rock.
5067. If you forget about Chuck Norris while on the Internet he may round house kick you at his time of choice.
5297. Jawz, I is him and no one else is. no exceptions.
8999. It's just under 9000. No exceptions
9000. You must be strictly greater than 9000 to be over 9000.
9001. It's over 9000. No exceptions
9002. It's still over 9000, and always will be!
9003. You will be molested this many times by newfags, especially if you edit this post no exceptions!
9004. This is how many times I have killed newfags. Obey Rule 9003, or else! No exceptions.
90210. This rule is shit, and so are you for thinking, "Oh, 90210, I love that show!"
9005. DallasDingyBird is the King of the Internet.
9006. Cindiquil is the Vice-King of the Internet.
9007. bite my weenis. it can feed us.
9008. The placement of rule 90210 fails. No exceptions.
9013. the rules will never go away. no exceptions period
9014. "Did he/she/it/they/the lamp/etc. died?" No he/she/it/they/the lamp/etc. didn't and never will. No exceptions.
9015. You can't take 2 from 3! 2 is less then 3 so we look in the tens place.
9016: Chuck Norris' computer can divide by 0. No Exceptions
9017: In Soviet Russia - 0 divides by YOU.
9018: 9016 and 9017 are epic, EPIC RULE IS EPIC. No Exceptions
9020. If you're wondering where 9019 went, refer to rule 404.
9021. Blockatiel is out to get you. No Exceptions.
9022. Your parents know where you keep your porn, no exceptions. Keeping it on a flash drive doesn't help.
9023. You know where your parents keep their porn, no exceptions
9024.There is no god other than Chuck Norris... We cannot stress that enough.
9027. If your wondering where Rule 9026 went, The Lazar (304) sent off too much radiation and it landed right above me. No exceptions.
9029. Rule 9028 is a lie; The cake is also true.
9030. Rule 9029 is true, although Chuck Norris already ate the cake.
9031. Rule 9030 is misleading, Chuck Norris ate the cake that was a lie... therefore, Chuck Norris is a l... The computer of this rules writer mysteriously exploded. Don't doubt the Norris. No Exceptions
9033. The placement of rule 1006 was shit. No exceptions.
9034. If you download but don't seed, Bruce Lee will rip your scrotum off.
9035. There IS a torrent for it... you just aren't looking hard enough... Unless there isn't.
9036. Vampires don't sparkle. No exceptions.
-B expect when they explode
9037. I'm sorry, your request cannot be processed. Please refer to rule 404.
9038. The faggot that try to edit the latest rules deserves to be castrated. No exceptions.
9039. If you delete a new rule from this list, Chuck Norris will destroy your house and eat your kitten; Unless you don't have a kitten, then you will recieve a swift kick to the crotch.
9040. People can't make fun of you for watching hentai; They secretly watch it all the time. No Exceptions.
9041. More cowbell is always required - no exceptions.
9042. Chuck Norris jokes are so awesome, he will find you and kick your ass if you attribute them to anyone else.
9043. If anyone edits rule 93, refer to rule 93 pre-edit.
9044. Copypasta is made to rui-chuck norris killed copypasta, and saves the old memes
9045. never explain or justify yourself. No exceptions
9046. The answer to life, the universe, and everything = 42. No exceptions because google says so.
9047. Never doubt The Norris, even when in doubt.
9048. Squirtle used Chris Hanson! ..... FUUUUUUUUUUUU-
9049. the day people stop editing things before reading readme's is the day grimies decides to not destroy the universe when he is 50. oh and every time someone edits this page without reading the readme (you know i know you know where it is) you can subtract 1 year from the age he carries out his devious plans. No Exceptions. your DESTROYER grimies